Methland.

I recently picked up the book Methland, The Death and Life of an American Small Town. It was originally recommended to me by my 9th grade language arts teacher, Mr. Beatty. I actually bought it around that time but never got around to reading it. Watching lots of documentaries on Netflix had got me interested in nonfiction. What made this book even more appealing was that its based in Iowa! Well, kind of. See, this book is all about how meth has ruined small town Iowa and the lives of those who live there. Before I read this book, I didn't know anything about meth. It's a weirdly interesting subject. The trouble all started with the closing of the meat processing plant in Oelwein, Iowa. The majority of the city was employed by the plant, so there was a lot to be upset about. To cope with their unemployment, many citizens of Oelwein turned to using meth. The drug has a strong effect, essentially making a person out of their mind for long 12 hour stretches. Hallucinations are common. While under the influence of meth, a person also has extreme focus and energy for a long stretch of time. Some of the laid off employees found new jobs and and began using it to take long shifts. Meth kingpins soon owned the entire town, using the money they earned from selling to buy virtually every business in Oelwein and other similar towns. This book was really a shock for me to read, I had no idea this was such a problem in Iowa. According to statistics from Methland, the midwest has the highest meth lab seizures of any region. At the same time of reading this, I got into watching the show Breaking Bad, which is about a Chemistry teacher who begins to sell meth to support his family.


....but I'll write about that later.

Ramen Noodles: food of the Gods (and poor college kids)

Oh. look I'm writing about food again! Sorry, I always do these blog posts around dinnertime so I'm usually thinking about food then. For the past couple months, I've eaten ramen noodles at least three times a week. They are kind of addictive in a way, probably due to the high salt content. I decided to write about them when they were mentioned in an episode of Breaking Bad (I'll blog about that show too). I'm going to write this post like you have never heard of ramen noodles before, just for fun.

One pack of ramen noodles costs about $.20, making them really popular with poor/college/poor college kids.

Another reason they are so popular is that they are easy to make. Ramen can be prepared in two ways: stove top or microwave. I prefer boiling water on the stove top because then I can feel like a chef without actually being a chef. I like to poke the brick (my research has informed me the term for the uncooked noodles is known as a brick) with a fork while it floats in the boiling water, because it also makes me feel very chef-like. Ramen is most commonly eaten plain, but I have seen it accompanied with saltine crackers, which is really good! I exclusively eat the chicken flavored ramen, mostly because the other flavors dont seem very appealing. Actually, there is a flavor called "lime shrimp". I think I just threw up. I don't trust packaged seafood.

Andrew Hanzelka should join show choir. (also I'm desperate for blog ideas)

Soooooooooooooooo I already wrote about show choir one time, and it was basically a shame blog post because I was tired and I felt I could ramble about it for the required word count. I'm going to do it again because I can. Show choir at Kennedy has gotten to a cult-like status. I've seen the hard work people put into their auditions, even friendships have been broken up by one friend making the group and one friend not being so lucky. People dedicate their high school career to show choir, and the audition pool for Happiness inc (varisty choir) sometimes exceeds 200. Because we have such a large audition pool, recruiting is never really necessary. The other day our director, Mr. Zielger, said something very unusual.

"If someone doesn't bring me Andrew Hanzelka by the end of the year, I'm going to hurt all of you."

Obviously, he was joking about the "hurting us" part, but it is very strange for Mr. Ziegler to go out of his way to ask for someone to join. Immediately, poor Andrew was bombarded by choir geeks relentlessly asking him to try out. I knew he was probably annoyed by this, but I thought it would be worth a shot to conduct a little interview.


So Andrew, why do you think people want you to join show choir?
 Mostly for my body, but also apparently I have a good singing voice.

How often to do get asked to audition?
Probably four times a school week.

What do you tell them?
"Ehhhhh, we'll see.."

Why do you say that?
Mainly to get them to go away... I figure that if I don't give them a clear YES or NO answer, they'll shrug their shoulders and wait a day or two before they ask again

Do you have a random wacky comment or shout out you'd like to make?
I wish I could grow a mustache...

So I just wrote a blog post about some person I actually know, and I feel sort of creepy, and I bet you think I'm creepy. Well thats okay. I think we should all learn to leave Andrew alone on this issue, because he is clearly a very sensitive human being. If you keep bothering him about it, he would never join. The best approach is to subltly convice him to try out in April.



THE END.

Mediocre about Halloween shows because I'm really tired.

The best part about October is definitely the Halloween. More specifically, the TV and movies that play during this time. I always loved Halloweentime when I was little because I loved the creepy feeling you get from them. I would be sad when Halloween ended and suddenly there was a huge lack of horror programming. I would fill that void when I was younger with shows like Ghost Hunters, A Haunting, and Are You Afraid of the Dark. I wish that TV had more shows like that on these days. The people who made A Haunting have another show now on animal planet called The Haunted, which is taken from "true" accounts and then dramatized. The only required element is that the story have an animal of some sort living with them at the time. Other than that, The Haunted is basically a normal human show that happens to be on Animal Planet.

One of my favorite movies when I was little was Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride. Burton is a master of animation and setting the tone for his movies. In this film, the living world is portrayed as boring and the colors are muted gray to make a more dreary feel. On the flipside, the world of the dead is very bright and colorful while still remaining slightly dark to fit the rest of the movie. I think this was a work of genius for Burton because he is very good at making the right picture.


Nap time.

Above the Influence doesn't do as great of a job as it should.

So the other day I was watching TV. I'm pretty sure all of my blog posts start out with this, or that I was eating. Obviously all I do is eat and watch TV, I mean clearly I am the epitome of childhood obesity. Anyway, I was watching TV when I saw this commercial.

If you didn't watch it, a girl goes to her friend's (maybe boyfriend's OOH LA LA) house and the events of their day is chronicled. They do very cutesy things together in this small town, and then the Above the Influence symbol appears. If you didn't already know, http://www.abovetheinfluence.com/ is a site with the goal in mind to prevent teenage drinking and drug use. It ran for a few months, but went largely unnoticed by me because it is just such a dull advertisement. The color scheme remains drab and muted throughout the entire commercial and the song has no dynamics to it. It completely went past me the first couple times I saw it. The target audience is teenagers just like me, and I, someone who actually pays attention to commercials, let it slide by me completely unphased. This is bad for the intended goal. I wasn't able to pay attention enough to understand the message that you can have an alright time without drinking and drug use. The commercial doesn't even do that right, because this time they are having isn't blown with excitement. I decided to go ahead and check the website out.

I'm not endorsing teenage substance abuse, but most amusing part of the website was the "comeback" section, which gives confused teenagers a source to consult on what to say when asked to participate in such activities. Some of the answers kind of made me laugh because they're so blunt and awkward.


"Lets smoke." "Nah, my Mom has better senses than a drug sniffing dog."

"Hey I snagged my younger brother's Ritalin, want some?" "No thats bad."

"I hate studying, lets just copy off someone." "No way man the teacher would catch us."


I couldn't help but chuckle at seeing someone simply saying "No thats bad" with no implied emotion and then walking away. It just appears so awkward and funny. Some of the suggested excuses would probably be very rehearsed sounding and actually used, making the poor kid feel more awkward than just saying no in his own way. For a site trying to prevent substance use, it doesn't do as great of a job as it should.

Moccasins: my Grandpa predicts fashion trends.

I just preheated my oven to 400 degrees, and my goal is to see if I can write one blog post in the time it takes to cook this pizza. It will be quite a lovely pizza, a personal deep dish cheese. So hopefully that all turns out well.

I was really cold earlier and decided to slip on my pair of target moccasins. This is the generic cheap pair that LITERALLY EVERY GIRL OWNS. If you have ever been to Kennedy High School, you know what I'm talking about. I decided this would be an interesting topic to write about, because my grandpa has been wearing moccasins since before I was born, definitely before they were fashionable. Moccasins used to be on par with a pair of bunny slippers; you only wore them when you were in the privacy of your own home. With the rising popularity of Uggs and other sheepskin boots, moccasins soon found their place in fashion.

I bought my first pair sometime early last winter, before Christmas. The first day I wore them to school; pure bliss. My feet were so warm surrounded by fur, but with the lazy comfort of socially acceptable slippers. The second day I wore them, the fur on the bottom had flattened significantly. After about a month, there was hardly anything left but the shell. I continued to wear them, however. For my birthday (December 24th) my dad bought me a pair of very nice Ugg moccasins. To be completely honest, I was a bit mortified. My previous pair had completely fell apart within a month. Now I was presented with a $100 pair that would surely meet the same fate, right?

Wrong. Have you ever heard the saying, "you get what you pay for"? It really is true. If you buy a pair of $8 moccasins, don't expect a life companion. Moccasins are wonderful shoes that make your feet happy. The more expensive pair is going to benefit you in the long run.

And it was the greatest pizza ever.

Regular Show is pretty exceptional! (HA HA HA GET IT?)

So the other day I was just hanging out at my house and whatnot, watching TV. When I don't know what to watch, one of my first instincts is to turn on Cartoon Network. I've been watching it since as long as I can remember and just never really grew out of watching it. Cartoon Network appealed to me more when I was younger and gradually has been more interesting lately. This is probably because, in my opinion, the shows are much better. Probably my favorite of the new block of programs Cartoon Network has introduced is Regular Show.

This show is kind of difficult to explain. Basically, there are two main characters: Mordecai and Rigby. (Rigby is the raccoon and Mordecai the blue-jay.) It is assumed they are adults. They live a world of anthropometric animals that go on an average day-to-day basis. Mordecai and Rigby have average jobs working for the park, which they consistently slack at. Most of the humor comes from the interactions between Mordecai and Rigby, which is very childish but I just can't help but find hilarious. It's very hard to pinpoint exactly what is so funny about them, you really just have to watch a few episodes to get the collective idea. Everything is very overplayed with a sarcastic tone that just appeals to me. Here's a decent example:

That should give you a decent idea about the funny interactions between them. Probably the best running joke about the show is that every episode results in them either being sucked into another dimension or changing reality completely, only for it to be reset by the end of the episode. I think if the entire show stayed at the casual level it was at in the beginning, it would be kind of boring. The fact it slides into some ridiculous zone makes it laugh worthy.

The Death of the Written Word.

Recording of writings has been with humanity since we have learned to write. We wrote things down to contain what our memories couldn't hold on to. As man has walked through the past thousand years, books have been there, holding our hand. Books contain the voices of the past, the ideas and personal thoughts that have kept a persons legacy alive. An author still lives on as long as there is someone to read his works. Humanity has fought wars over the written word. And today, the end of the book can be seen.
The death of the book has come in the form of tablets such as the iPad, Nook, and Kindle. While technology and progression is not necessarily a bad thing and is a natural part of life, I can't help but feel a bit of grief for the future of the book. Although Nooks and Kindles are still considered new technology, and more of a luxury item than a necessity, the effect on books and bookstores can already be seen. A notable example of this is Borders, a book chain that had been open with many locations across the united states for over 40 years. In an NPR report, the threat electronic books has put on bookstores is mentioned freqently.

Ms. SHERRI HAUBER: I think e-books hurt Borders. You know, on my iPad, I can get a book from Amazon


Mr. JANE FREIDMAN (Electronic Media Professor, University of Cincinnati): It's a big sign of the larger transition we're all making to digital books and digital reading devices. So we're probably going to see a further decline of the bricks and mortar stores, and further movement away from people reading print or paper books, and more people adopting digital reading devices.

GUERRA: Perhaps the most telling piece of news came in April. That's when Amazon announced for the first time since the Kindle was introduced that it was selling more e-books than print books in the U.S. But Freidman says that doesn't necessary spell doom and gloom to the book industry and to book culture in general.

I personally find it a bit depressing. There is an argument to be made that switching to electronic books will leave a smaller footprint on the environment due to less paper consumption, but you won't be able to beat the nostalgic feel opening a real paperback book.

My Grandpa, dressing like a hipster since 1930.

The other day was my Grandpas 81st birthday. My Mom and Brother and I all ventured over to their house to celebrate. I was happy to see my Grandpa, and then I noticed something that I found hilarious. My Grandpa, who absolutely has never tried to cater to fashion trends, was dressed the way a modern hipster would dress. He had a vintage plaid shirt tucked into his khakis while wearing a long, large buttoned cardigan and boat shoes (or sperrys). I thought it was kind of humorous and figured that hipster culture was a relevant enough topic to blog about. Its relevant to my "topic" I suppose because this culture of people is literally build out of what they wear and buy. Its actually a running joke about hipsters that "I bought this before everyone else had it".

Exactly this. 

I'm not sure where hipster culture began. It might have evolved out of grunge fans from the 90s or emo kids outgrowing their neon-pink skinny jeans and Hello Kitty t-shirts. Regardless, its a style of dress and attitude that has come to light more recently. More "hardcore" hipsters live in college towns after they graduated art school and currently struggle to earn an income selling postmodern art focusing on owls and cats. (I actually have purchased a piece of art from these poor souls.)

Art.

Hipsters do some things out of sheer irony. A notable example of this is wearing Bill Cosby sweaters because they are so ugly that they've become cool. Wearing sweaters like this is especially "hip" when they are very out of season, like in the summer. That sweaty forehead and reindeer sweater is a calling card for cool. Another notable example that I find hilarious is drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer simply because of how uncouth it is and its association with blue collar workers. I think it is really funny that this company has a profit margin based solely off of people drinking it to make fun of it.


I'm bad at ending things so bye.

This article about smartphones is actually pretty stupid.

So basically, I didn't know what to write about. I linked CNN business to my blog for this purpose, because there is usually something kind of interesting going on for me to write about. I saw a link to this article Cell Phone Makers Target Teens. I thought the title was a bit peculiar, since this isn't exactly big news. Every company wants to target teenagers. They advertise the products themselves by just carrying them around. Teenagers are very impressionable, so if they saw one of their friends with some product, they'd be inclined to buy it as well. For the sake of writing the required amount of blog posts so I can get a good grade, and some day hope to go to college and not live in a box, I decided to read the article. The opening paragraph was fine with me. It spit out believable facts like "In just two years, the number of teenage cellular subscribers has grown by nearly 26 percent (that's a full 10 percentage points above the growth rate of 45- to 54-year-old customers for the same time period)" so at first I was buying this article. A voice in the back of my mind kept telling me that something wasn't right, because like I said, this is pretty old news. And then the line "So why not make a smartphone geared toward teens and tweens? After all, they're the ones who are driving some of the most advanced mobile trends." appeared, and the article was all down hill from there.

Actually, the death of this article came when the reader sees this picture. I honestly will cut straight to it, that is a laughably awful phone. Good lord, do you see that? Egg shaped and with awkward buttons, Helio's Ocean could be confused with Jitterbug phones. Jitterbug is a cell phone manufacturer with an elderly targeted market. Its phones are purposely created to be easy to use, with large buttons and a dollar bill sized screen. The Ocean is "being marketed towards teenagers". I don't think phone companies need to go out of their way to create phones teenagers would buy these days, especially with iPhones, Droids, and Blackberries dominating the Smartphone market. Teenagers are the most knowledgeable when it comes to how "gadgets" work. I'm asked very frequently by my college educated parents how to do what I consider simple tasks on their cell phones. Trying to make a less high tech phone and then marketing it to teenagers isn't going to be very successful. Actually, this kind of article would trick my Grandma into buying this phone. All grandparents are naive to things like this. I've received many "trendy" presents from them only to feign my excitement and then figure out how I can return it.


Want to know something funny? I realized this article was written in 2007 and was probably incredibly relevant back then. What I don't understand is why was a four year old article linked to the main page of CNN business?
#woops

My first (but probably not last) post about show choir!

This weekend, Happiness inc had the pleasure of working with Brett Carrol, the director or Burbank High school's In Sync. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll explain it to you. I'm talking about show choir. Show choir is the epitome of "performing arts". A simple definition is that we form a group of boys and girls who sing, choose some songs that you think seem cool and then figure out some choreography (dancing). We begin to figure out our songs and choreography in the fall and get our show together before January. Then in the early winter the group travels to various schools for a competition, and judges decide who has put on the best show and then awards are given. But that is a very underplayed description. Show choir has obtained cult status. It has grown so far from what it originally was. I realized this when I talked to an adult that was in Happiness when they were in high school. I casually mentioned my practice schedule and the kind of commitment you make to show choir at Kennedy. She was very surprised at how huge it has grown. Most of this growth has occurred in the past ten years. To be completely honest with you, I have absolutely no idea why, but things are like that, just suddenly becoming popular. At Kennedy, the choir program has always been strong. Our varsity show choir, Happiness inc, has been very successful in the past couple years. Last season, they were ranked 10th in the nation out of 5,000 groups.

This weekend we had a camp where Bret Carrol, the director of Burbank's In Sync, gave us some extra vocal technique instruction. Bret is a genius. Burbank is one of the top groups in the nation. Burbank, from Burbank California, has an enormous budget for their show. They produce a show with an actual set and multiple costume changes. The physical part isn't what makes them so good, though. Its their director, who has taught a certain way to make the choir sing that makes it sound amazing. This technique involves changing a certain part of the tone to make the sound carry farther. The effect is amazing, it makes the sound blow you away.

Here is a clip of Burbank's Ballad and one of their other numbers, so you can get an idea what I'm talking about.

Most Chinese food is actually a lie as well.

This will be my second post tonight relating to food. I really just thought of my ideas for what to write about to tonight while eating dinner. My family brought home Chinese from HyVee. ( often referred to as HyChi by us youngsters) My very plain tastes forced me to order sesame chicken and a side of rice. While I was eating I noticed that my chicken was basically standard chicken strips like any restaurant sells dipped in some sort of fattening and kind of sugary paste-sauce. It made me wonder how accurate this was to what actual Chinese cuisine contains.


In the nineteenth century, Chinese immigrants emigrated from their homes in mostly southern China to California. San Francisco became a prominent place for the immigrants. Soon after the population grew, Chinese in San Francisco operated sophisticated and sometimes luxurious restaurants patronized mainly by Chinese. These places became popular with upper-class whites who saw it as a novelty place to go. However, the upper class were not used to the very foreign tastes brought over by the immigrants. To accommodate to their tastes, the restaurants adjusted their menus to suit them. One of the most notable creation from this time is Chop Suey, which is really any type of noodles with any type of meat. And people ate it.

Today, most "Chinese Food" is sold with some a panda or a Chinese character on its packaging. Everything on the modern Chinese restaurant menu has been created to suit the tastes of the fast food hungry American. Every item is very similar to every other item available. Chicken is prepared the exact same way, it just all depends on what kind of sauce it is coated in and then suddenly you have a "whole new dish." It's all a lie if you think about it. What we consider Chinese food is no more ethnic than Burger King or McDonald's. It is our own creation, not some kind of foreign delicacy. I'm not saying traditional Chinese restaurants can't be found in the United States, but I'm sure you would be hard pressed to find a restaurant that doesn't cater to the modern customers wants. This is good business practice though, just for the reason that not everyone wants to eat true traditional Chinese food.

Neither do I though, I had the sesame chicken.

"Natural" foods are kind of a big lie

Basically, my inspiration for this came from one of my many trips to the fridge. I grabbed a can of Sierra Mist because I enjoy light pops such as 7up and Sprite (even though I'll take whatever is in the fridge). I quickly downed the can within thirty seconds and noticed something I hadn't before. The can was different than normal, a lighter color with bubbles and water all over it as apposed to the usual green and yellow stripes. The can said it was "natural" with other "natural flavors". It made me wonder exactly what that meant and if that made it any better for me to consume.

In short, it means almost absolutely nothing. The FDA does not regulate what it means for a product to be considered "natural". Sometimes this can be good. If a company sold, say, a bag of trail mix, they could put the word "natural" all over it. People would see it and probably consider it a better choice than a bag of trail mix without the word "natural" on it. In some situations, however, giving a product the label "natural" it can potentially jeopardize a persons choice in diet. For example, someone could purchase the "natural" Sierra Mist because they think it will be healthier for them. I found that the "natural" Sierra Mist has the same amount of calories and the same ingredients (carbonated water, sugar, citric acid, and potassium citrate).

I guess it isn't surprising that companies do this. Its really all about getting people to buy their product. Slapping "natural" on a label is an easy and very inexpensive in relation to the potential profit gained. The average consumer is not very intelligent. Using the right words or the right design on a product is all it really takes for a majority of people. These days, the average person doesn't have time to mull over the pros and cons of a particular type of soda, and often people don't really care because they could just go buy another 12 pack.